The “choices” we women have for our careers consistently involve a lot of compromises.
I have also “had” to work with and for sometimes obnoxious and slightly creepy men who did not have my best interests at heart to pursue a career that I love.
“Choice” isn’t really real concept to me. The men I worked with and for for decades vaguely accepted me as long as I made them look good and didn’t disagree with them in public too much.
However At a certain point in my early 50s the toll it was taking was getting obvious. - 30 lbs overweight, drinking far too much - I had to admit that I wasn’t “making it” and it wasn’t getting easier it was getting harder. I fled. No lawsuits. No reckoning with a toxic culture. I took a year long sabbatical hoping I’d figure out what to do.
Finding a supportive work environment turned out to be my number one priority. It worked out for me at least. I found a better job and the supportive environment I was looking for. It involved moving across the country. But the place I left continued to shed employees and financial viability. It’s a shadow of it former self having been gutted by poor management decisions.
Here’s where I land. Ultimately, as a society we either pursue a true meritocracy or we don’t.
If we don’t choosing we are vulnerable to all sorts of Machiavellian power struggles and the consequences of such.
The rise of Authoritarianism is tied to levels of mediocrity in leadership where leaders are bound by loyalty, secrecy and raw demonstrations of power instead of actually working to solve societies problems. I’m a fan of more meritocracy not less. Mostly because of how destructive and despicable the alternatives are.
I really enjoy reading your daily dispatches. But I got halfway today and thought, hey, what about the 400-word cap? Glad you fessed up. I can read 800 some days.
Blake, thank you! I've read a lot of stories for which I just run out of time, which is why I thought short would be better. The long quote in this one forced a change! But I'll keep trying to be efficient.
I'll never fully appreciate what women or people of color go through at work -- if you complain about the most legitimate issue you're criticized as weak or soft or can't take a joke or (my least favorite...) "not a team player". Ugh.
Having said that, unless you live in a factory town where you are forced to work in the only job there is (coal mine; sweatshop...) there is just no reason to work for evil folks. Your awful boss is not wonderful deep down. Your instincts are correct: they're awful.
"I CAN'T quit! I HAVE to stay!"
Why?
I said the same thing for YEARS; stuck in a corporate career I hated. Until a family member said the obvious: "Why don't you quit?
"I CAN'T! "
"Why? Try something else. The worst thing that will happen is that you won't like your new venture and you'll have to go back to your old career, where you have plenty of experience and can get another job like the one you left."
I now earn a LOT less, and I worry more about money, but I never wake up anymore and say, "I can't go back to my awful job one more day. I just can't."
The “choices” we women have for our careers consistently involve a lot of compromises.
I have also “had” to work with and for sometimes obnoxious and slightly creepy men who did not have my best interests at heart to pursue a career that I love.
“Choice” isn’t really real concept to me. The men I worked with and for for decades vaguely accepted me as long as I made them look good and didn’t disagree with them in public too much.
However At a certain point in my early 50s the toll it was taking was getting obvious. - 30 lbs overweight, drinking far too much - I had to admit that I wasn’t “making it” and it wasn’t getting easier it was getting harder. I fled. No lawsuits. No reckoning with a toxic culture. I took a year long sabbatical hoping I’d figure out what to do.
Finding a supportive work environment turned out to be my number one priority. It worked out for me at least. I found a better job and the supportive environment I was looking for. It involved moving across the country. But the place I left continued to shed employees and financial viability. It’s a shadow of it former self having been gutted by poor management decisions.
Here’s where I land. Ultimately, as a society we either pursue a true meritocracy or we don’t.
If we don’t choosing we are vulnerable to all sorts of Machiavellian power struggles and the consequences of such.
The rise of Authoritarianism is tied to levels of mediocrity in leadership where leaders are bound by loyalty, secrecy and raw demonstrations of power instead of actually working to solve societies problems. I’m a fan of more meritocracy not less. Mostly because of how destructive and despicable the alternatives are.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It really resonates. Glad you are in a better place.
I really enjoy reading your daily dispatches. But I got halfway today and thought, hey, what about the 400-word cap? Glad you fessed up. I can read 800 some days.
Blake, thank you! I've read a lot of stories for which I just run out of time, which is why I thought short would be better. The long quote in this one forced a change! But I'll keep trying to be efficient.
I held my breath when Leila asked that question, what did she expect when she started working with Tucker Carlson.
“A professional work environment” is exactly what anyone should expect! Great interview!
I held my breath too! Thanks for listening.
Oh boy.
I'll never fully appreciate what women or people of color go through at work -- if you complain about the most legitimate issue you're criticized as weak or soft or can't take a joke or (my least favorite...) "not a team player". Ugh.
Having said that, unless you live in a factory town where you are forced to work in the only job there is (coal mine; sweatshop...) there is just no reason to work for evil folks. Your awful boss is not wonderful deep down. Your instincts are correct: they're awful.
"I CAN'T quit! I HAVE to stay!"
Why?
I said the same thing for YEARS; stuck in a corporate career I hated. Until a family member said the obvious: "Why don't you quit?
"I CAN'T! "
"Why? Try something else. The worst thing that will happen is that you won't like your new venture and you'll have to go back to your old career, where you have plenty of experience and can get another job like the one you left."
I now earn a LOT less, and I worry more about money, but I never wake up anymore and say, "I can't go back to my awful job one more day. I just can't."