Too many words, and too few

Contrasting examples of how Harris and Trump communicate.

One of my jobs is to write for the ear. It demands clarity and concision. Writing for radio must be so exact that listeners understand what you mean after hearing your story just once. Yet you also have limited time before you lose the listener’s attention—or the clock runs out. Some days we do better than others! And people let us know when we fall short.

This experience informs my thinking about two statements by the presidential candidates. Each drew criticism. And each shows the rest of us something useful about communication.

The first is by Vice President Harris, at Andrews Air Force Base late this week. She spoke with reporters as President Biden welcomed home Americans freed from Russia.

This is just an extraordinary testament to the importance of having a president who understands the power of diplomacy and understands the strength that rests in understanding the significance of diplomacy, and strengthening alliances.

Some Republicans dismissed this as word salad.

The next comes from former President Trump, at the debate on June 27, when he made a claim some Democrats considered racist.

As sure as you’re sitting there, the fact is that his big kill on the black people is the millions of people that he’s allowed to come in through the border. They’re taking black jobs now and it could be 18. It could be 19 and even 20 million people. They’re taking black jobs and they’re taking Hispanic jobs and you haven’t seen it yet, but you’re going to see something that’s going to be the worst in our history.

In no way does this post suggest the candidates or their statements are equal. Each did something different. Harris used more words than needed. Trump also used many words—but at the crucial point didn’t use enough.

The vice president’s remark made sense to me. It would have been harder to attack, however, if it was more concise. All these words are from the original statement: